Pain, yet it’s okay?

Jesus. The word alone can evoke emotion, but for me, I think of a man who was the Almighty in human form. This alone is a powerful statement! It’s something that sometimes can be a headache, but something that for today, tonight, and every future June 30, brings comfort to me. 

46 years old is considered middle age, but unfortunately, what would had been my Mother’s age just wasn’t meant to be. Yes, my mother would be celebrating her 46th year alive; however, nearly 17 years ago, she passed from this earth. I was only 6 years old. 

Many say that this event was traumatic; however, I still celebrate her memories–of what I can remember and what others have told–as means of keeping her alive and well. The pain; however undesirable, still is present. 

This pain is actually something that has made my relationship with the Creator distant at times. The Almighty and I have, what I deem, an understanding which includes that I can be upset at the sucky timing of it all as long as I continue to just talk about this pain from Mother’s Day to August. 

God and I came to this understanding in 2012, after I had went out with my best friend to”celebrate” Mom’s birthday. In 2012, a top my drive way, I heard what I deemed the most loud whisper of Jehovah that I have heard thus far in my life–“remember even I cried when my best friend died.” 


Every where. 

Since that evening in the summer of 2012, God and I have worked out that this pain, however traumatic and hurtful, it was a comprehensive promised pathway for me to continue to heal in my journeys on this earth. (This can change as I grow closer to the Almighty.) A couple of days ago, I was reminded of “our truth” just in time for today’s birthday for Mom. I believe that God can work in all things, but that doesn’t mean God doesn’t grieve with us when things just suck. And that’s okay. 


About Matthew C

First generation college graduate with Psychology degree. Focused on Peace & Social Justice issues.
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